


I Have To Believe

by Sketchyfletch



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sketchyfletch/pseuds/Sketchyfletch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short blurb of Nicolette trying to wrap her head around her girlfriend's explanation for the Panic, and finding any possible route she can to come to a conclusion that doesn't involve Cerys being mad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have To Believe

Silly, emotional and far, far too quick to fall in love. These are words Nicolette acknowledges for herself. She accepts them for the balance they have with her other side, the one that is practical and pragmatic and kind. She’s never believed in the Maker but it hasn’t stopped her from admiring the art and architecture produced in His and Andraste’s name, or the people who believe in them. She doesn’t believe in ghosts, the afterlife, the ability to read the future in the stars or to communicate with the ‘other side’. What she sees is what she believes, and even that is taken with a dose of salt because she knows the mind can play tricks.

It’s what makes believing Cerys so very difficult. Even by her standards, Nicolette has fallen hard for her girlfriend, and her attempts to keep one foot in reality struggle with not wanting to acknowledge that one day what they have will end when Cerys has to reclaim her title. And it might end sooner if she can’t wrap her head around Cerys’ explanation for the Panic.

Monsters. If anybody else had told her that they’d seen people exploding into monsters made of flame and teeth, she’d have begged them to seek help. But with Cerys’ friends vanishing after being sent to counseling, she doesn’t want to risk her girlfriend going through the same. If Cerys ended up being taken away and committed because of her, Maker, she wouldn’t be able to bear it.

So she goes looking for reasons to believe Cerys. She searches news articles that assert everything was the result of a gas explosion that killed many and poisoned the minds of people who survived. If she didn’t have an emotional standpoint in this Nicolette knows she would accept that explanation with a shrug. Bad things like that happen, and while they’re cruel they make sense. Instead she leaves the articles behind and delves into conspiracy theories that run the gamut from blaming the government for a top-secret experiment gone wrong to strident essays about the ways the Maker chooses to test His children. And nowhere is there any explanation for why anybody as far north as Kirkwall might feel that…thing that had shaken Cerys, and Finn.

There are other points of interest. The involvement of the Chantry is unnerving. They shouldn’t have had anything to do with a gas explosion and Nicolette is firmly of the belief that no religious organization should offer counseling to vulnerable people who might be easily swayed towards their views. There was definitely something off going on there.

Nicolette doesn’t know what to believe, so she concentrates on what she does know. She can’t abandon Cerys out of fear; she’s done enough running away to last her a lifetime. Besides, the notion of leaving makes her chest wrench so badly that she almost sobs. Finding Cerys has been a gift she’s not giving up without a fight, and despite her reservations over what exactly it was that her girlfriend experienced, she’s not going anywhere. Until the moment Cerys tells her it’s time to end things, she’s going to enjoy being with her – and doing everything she can to keep her safe.


End file.
